Posted by: Paula Delgado-Kling | November 16, 2010

Tanja’s Diaries

Last week, you met Tanja Nijmeijer. In the latest video made public of her, she plays up to the camera: “I am a guerrilla of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia and I will continue to be a guerrilla until we conquer or until death. And in that, there’s no reverse. And even more so, I feel proud ..”

But her diaries, left behind in a FARC camp in 2007 and made public by the army, reveal a different young woman. Several entries in her diary speak of her dreams of escaping the FARC and returning to the Netherlands.

Her words:

“I’m tired, tired of the FARC, tired of the people, tired of communal living. Tired of never having anything for myself … This would be worth it if I knew I was fighting for something. But I don’t really believe that anymore.”

“I do not believe in it (FARC) any more. What kind of organization is this? Some have money, cigarettes and sweets. The rest has to beg for everything only to be rejected by those who do have everything.”

“I called home. Mom cried and so did Dad. Now I need to wait for my punishment, because everyone is allowed to call, except me.”

“The chief has fallen for a girl with big tits. But it appears she brought some venereal disease with her. The chief says the government sent her in order to infect and weaken the rebel leaders.”

“I don’t know… where this project is going. How will it be when we take power? The wives of the commanders in Ferrari Testa Rossas with breast implants eating caviar? That’s the way it seems…”

“People here are terribly stupid sometimes. They’re incapable of being objective, keeping secrets and engaging in self-criticism…”

“I’d like to live in Holland again for a bit. So I’m not patronised by know-it-alls and sexists for once.”

Other entries, however, show a woman still itching for violent means:

“Bored and hungry. We can’t find the enemy, and so I have to study FARC documents for the millionth time.”

“Damn! I’ve been waiting three days for a helicopter to shoot it down, but it hasn’t flown over the area.”

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